Friday, September 14, 2018

Explosive New Book: RUN (and Hide)!


Fresh off his latest book, FEAR: Trump in the Whitehouse, famed author, Bob Woodward, has penned a non-fiction thriller detailing the GRC during the tumultuous years Patrick Murphy skippered the fledgling team. The book is entitled, "RUN (and Hide): The GRC Administration Under Patrick Murphy". 

Although the book has yet to be released, I've (amazingly) come across a copy, and some of the charges are explosive. Below are a few excerpts. Though you might think I enjoy sharing these snippets, please know that it really pains me to post them here on this beloved blog: 

 On page 1,276 (it's a 3,000+ page epic!), a team member known only as "B. Young" (narrowing the source down to two people) claims Patrick "colluded with PACERS during the 2009 Veteran's Day 10k, essentially handing PACERS the win." This collusion occurred years before the teams officially merged. In 2009, the two teams were rivals. This is by far one of the devastating accusations in the book. 

In an earlier chapter, former President of the GRC, Sam Luff (AKA "Sam from Cornell #2") is reported to have called Patrick a "dumby (sic) face" in April 2012, after a contentious board meeting. 

During that same board meeting, Charlie Ban was drinking a concoction that resembled “a mix of both coffee and beer, two drinks Charlie claims he never touches…” He also, according to one account, wore blue jeans, or, according to another, blue jean shorts (jorts) to this same meeting. 

Kyle Cooke, it’s said in the book, “has hoarded upwards of six to eight different singlets.” 

According to official membership paperwork, current GRC President Kerry Allen's real name is Allen Kerry, and she was named after her father, Allen Kerry Sr. 

Although he joined the team after Patrick’s tenure, the book also claims that Cabell Willis has a “ghost writer, who pens all of Cabell’s Instagram posts.” 

An author known only as Enamanoos (sic) has written the book's Foreword.

1 comment:

KyleCooke said...

I have just learned of accusations leveled on my character by a non-existent, anonymous source. Let me be clear: I've met, more than once, an individual "named" Jerry on a dark, Wednesday evening in Bethesda. We met a high school. He had just come from the Department of Justice. He gave me the singlets on the condition that I wear them (and only them) on the weekend. NO HOARDING!

I find it interesting that there are no accusations against Ryan Witters. Could he be "Anonymous"? We need Law and Order.